30 September 2010
B.M.H. 3: The Update
I AM FUCKING UP!
So, I have to be honest. (Sigh) I have been smoking and drinking every night.
But, wait, I can explain. Well, no, I can't explain, BUT, BUT, listen, I know that I am going to cut down. Do you know how I know? Because I'm starting to realize that it is not only affecting my health, but my spending habits.
I was always broke...LOL...(please don't buy a new car in this economy, well, it gave me a tax break for a year, but other than that, its nothing to be marveled at), but now I think I've fell to pieces.
So, remember my "in hopes of breaking this cycle" article about three weeks ago, well, I am going to actually go by that schedule. But, the one thing I realize is that addictions take time, as said before, so I can't expect for a change overnight.
And, if you're struggling as I am and you need motivation I will tell you to do this. Pay attention to the people around you. I was in the local ghetto Chinese food spot tonight (they have the best braised wings I've ever had and their clean, no worries) and some of my people came in and some of them looked like DEATH...and I don't say that in a comical way at all.
Some of the dudes who were in there, and I know you've noticed it in your local gas stations or where ever, and they looked dirty, dusty, smoked out--the alcohol is draining the life out of them, the smoke is making them blacker, and they just do not look healthy.
I don't want that to be neither you so I'm getting on my good foot, staying on my tight rope, and keeping it moving.