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11 July 2010

The Discrete Relationship 6: The Little Things...

My "complicated situation" is thousands of miles away from home, as you already know. And, I've discussed this whole long-distance dynamic in previous posts, but I must say, when you get discouraged and want to say fuck this shit, I can't deal with the long-distance bullshit, that motherfucka does one little thing that makes you remember why you fuck with them in the first place.

I used to be a dude who believed that small shit don't matter. I always thought that big shit mattered--'you let me borrow couple (not a couple, a lot) of dollars until pay day (pay day comes), you don't want it, you say just keep it?--thanks'...or, " bru, i didn't even know you were paying attention when I hinted at the fact that I wanted that computer in Best Buy when we were in the store--thanks." Shit like that is what impressed me. But, as I grow older man I realize it's not what a dude can do for you when it comes to material things and shit, it's about if that motherfucka contributes to your overall well-being. Does he care about and is willing to contribute to your life goals? Does he consider the fact that you are not the nicest motherfucka on bad days? Does he sit back and let you vent when you get frustrated? Does he bring home the brand of beer you like instead of the one he likes when you hang out? Does he give you encouraging words when shit doesn't work out for you--no matter what it is.

I definitely see why my older cousins and older friends always talked about the small shit because it is the thing that will make a relationship of any kind work.

Well, the other day he had pissed me off because he responded to an e-mail I sent a couple of days ago with an attitude. We won't discuss what the subject was but I didn't see a need for the attitude. So, I humbled myself because when you are texting or e-mailing someone they can take your words out of context so I just responded with an "I'm not going to follow you up right now" type of response seeing how he is in a war zone and shit and just talked about what I have going on, some decisions I have to make about school, some choices I need to make about changing careers, etc.

And, when I tell you this motherfucka wrote me back, in only 3 lines, some of the best advice I could have ever heard, even from one of my best friends, I realized that he is a good dude and I shouldn't say fuck it...LOL. He saved himself with just those 3 lines. And, I'm not acting like I'm holier than thou, I am pretty sure he feels the pressure himself and wants to say fuck it, but in all honesty, I think we both do "small things" that keep us connected, keep us tied mentally.

That's what is most important...and I will say to you, if you trying to land a dude, it's the small things and if its ONLY the big things that impresses him, maybe you need to be on another path trying to impress another motherfucka who can get over the superficial yo.

And, it's always important to hold ur dude up...

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