11 October 2010
The Discrete Relationship 9: The Distance
I want to believe. I need to believe, well, no, not need, but there is something that yearns to believe that long distance CAN work. There is something that makes me want to think that two people can stick to it for longer than the typical relationship of our generation, but I'm not totally convinced.
For the past couple of months with all that's going on in my life and the shit I have poppin I haven't been as attentive to "Blue" as much as I should have...but that's neither here nor there, because neither has he.
The e-mails and contacts went from everyday, a couple of times a day, to three or four times a week, to now, every other week. And, I have had a lot on my plate, sometimes I think my eyes are bigger than my stomach, but you make time for what you want to make time for. And, other things just became priority.
Now, I know his schedule and he does have more time to contact me than I do him, so I think it goes both ways. But, what does that say about what's happening to the way we think about each other? Or, does it say anything at all, but, we don't have the time--so charge it to my brain and not my heart? I don't know, but what I can say is, the communication is lacking and my interests are beginning to move in other directions.
So, do I stick with it or do I say fuck it? Because it will be another year and a half of this and I'm kind of old...LOL...what does one do?
Distance is definitely the catalyst for distance in a relationship. I now understand why people say long-distance doesn't work. And, I've been sweating trying to make it work and I don't usually perspire!