05 June 2010
The Discrete Relationship 4: Making Moves Because of Him
I think that people in relationships who live their entire lives centered around that relationship is stupid. Now, some say that you have to be able to give your everything when you're with someone, but to make life decisions based upon that relationship seems illogical because we sacrifice our true wants and desires to COMPROMISE so that both parties are at least, satisfied.
Satisfaction is a great thing. Yes, I can be satisfied with making $50,000/yr but I would be truly happy if I was making a 6 figure salary. I think the same goes in relationships. I've seen people apply for jobs based upon relationships, compromise on where they really want to live for a relationship, sacrifice higher salaries to be with a person, and sometimes even put their career dreams on hold for a relationship.
I have not dealt with these types of situations before but it seems I maybe faced with these types of decisions in the near future. I am currently in the process of changing career paths and going back for a doctorate degree and I have begun to consider looking at institutions of higher learning and job offers in the cities where we can be either closer or in the same city. Now, after being so entrenched in the idea of a long-standing relationship with this cat I found myself beginning to totally make decisions based upon his future. That happened for about two weeks and I came back to my senses.
I had to be smart about it--that way if things don't work out or even if they do, I won't feel like I sacrificed so much for him and then end up resenting him because I didn't do what I really wanted to do. So, I came to the conclusion that I should still apply for jobs and doctorate programs that are close to him, but ultimately, I'll let the Creator make the decision. Regardless of what I want I will end up where I am supposed to be. And, I cannot limit my opportunity pool that the Creator and I have for myself because of one guy, it will also be his decision if we are close or not. Because, really, if we were meant to be a longstanding situation it will be longstanding no matter where he is and no matter where I am.
I know a couple who live over 1,000 miles and away and they make it work (for the most part). It's possible.
I say that to say, if you have come to this crossroad in dealing with a dude who is long-distance, consider being close to them but do not limit your opportunities. Only time will tell what will happen next!