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03 May 2010

The Discrete Relationship 2: Things That Make You Question Yourself

I say things all the time that I know I may or may not do in the future. I have full intentions on doing those things but if something diverts my attention you can forget that I even said that. And, yes, word is bond--for sure. However, I've been like this since I can remember and my friends and family know to take my words at face value. Well, the motherfuckas I deal with don't know this about me and it is this very thing that ends every potential relationship (of any kind, sexual or fully romantic).

Case in point--I was working on a big project for work one night. Me and dude were talking and I just couldn't focus on him and making sure that everything in the report was correct so I said that I would give him a call back when I left the office. Well, I didn't leave the office until 1:30 a.m. and I know he has to be to work at 5:45 a.m. So, I did call back and I did say, as a way of "making up" that I would call him after my 9:00 meeting the next morning. Why did I say that?

Well, my 9:00 meeting ended up being an all day event with my boss and co-workers. Needless to say I never called. Now, typically we don't even address when one doesn't call the other when we say but that day I got a text saying, " always forget about me."

Now, dude is not a needy type motherfucka because this is what we do--call when we can, talk when we have time and leave it where it is. But, his text got me to thinking because dudes tell me this all the time. And its not that I don't call because I don't want to talk (well, most of the time), its just that I have other shit on my plate. And dependent upon the day, that person can't be the meat. They might end up being dessert--the last thing on the list. So, I had to stop and ask myself, " I not attentive enough and is that the reason I'm single and have been?" and for that matter " that the reason why my relationships don't last?" Now, for the youngins, their probably reading like, "dude, its not that serious" and that is the way I've always been, but should I change the way I deal with motherfuckas when it comes to being attentive? I am soooooo the, "I'll deal with it when I can" type of dude--how to change that I have no idea, but hey, its worth a try to do it differently...

How do you deal with this type of shit in your own relationships?


  1. Honestly if your really dont have time dont bother. Its obvious a relationship is not a priority to you. A relationship is the time two spend together. I was told (by my father) A man makes time for what he wants to make time for, so if you put your relationships last, then its really not that important to you. The worst kind of alone is within in a relationship.

  2. Wow, Amen to that. AyeJay, spoke very bluntly: if you don't contribute time, it's pretty much simply assumed you can't have a successful relationship. Relationships need nurture, attention and some kind of dependable commitment to even pick up...when you can seriously evaluate where your priorities are and determine what time, if any, you're contributing...then, you can learn to take strides in the right direction. A relationship is nothing if you don't know who you're dating.

  3. "The worst kind of alone is within a relationship..."

    I guess I can definitely see that because I am a loner...and I've never had to sacrifice my time or I always felt as if I shouldn't have to sacrifice my time. Over the past year that has somewhat changed and I'm trying to make myself more available to those who I choose to "date." That's why I asked for opinions because, yes, the worst type of alone is being alone in a relationship--even Jill Scott says, you're right in front of me but I don't know where you are. I just don't want to lose me trying to make drastic changes for someone else. ??? I definitely understand there is a happy medium and I will find that happy medium as time progresses and I definitely appreciate the comments guys...Hopefully, somebody else reading will be able to learn from our posts/comments...